The Weight of Finality

October 11, 2024 in Personal, boudoir

I have always had a relationship with finality.

I remember being a child and watching one of my favorite show’s series finale. It felt heavy. Everything was tied up with a bow, but I didn’t feel happy. I knew that I would never see another new episode. I knew that these people weren’t real, but their lives and their stories felt real. It was as if they were growing alongside me and their failures and triumphs were my own.

The show ended and the actors came out on stage (back then it was filmed in front of a live audience). They were all holding hands and they took several bows. Some of them were crying. They were hugging and talking to each other. Obviously, we couldn’t hear what they were saying as we watched them on our bulky tvs. But, I imagined they were saying what we would say in real life, saying what should have been said the whole time and not just at “goodbye”.

It’s somewhat like an obituary. We say all of the most meaningful and heartfelt things after someone has passed. We feel it so deeply because we know we’ll never be able to say those words to them. We hold out hope that somehow they can hear us and that they knew it all along, even if left unsaid while living.

I’m not leaving anything unsaid.

Here is my obituary to myself before I became a mother. She has died, yes, but part of her still lives and I want her to know how much I love her and appreciate her sacrifice.

The Process of Working Together

July 23, 2021 in boudoir, family, maternity, newborn, headshots

I will guide you through the entire process and will anticipate your needs before you might even realize them. It’s my pleasure to create custom art for my clients, based on their individuality.

What I love most about these sessions is the experience. We will create gorgeous photographs and you will have one of the most enjoyable experiences of your life.

Boudoir During a Life Transition

December 02, 2020 in boudoir

I still get people who don’t understand boudoir. They think it’s purely sexual, vain, or pointless. I can keep putting up blog posts that explain why they are so much more than that. I can try to explain it in my own words (which I’ve done several times). But, what I think speaks the loudest are words from other women who have been photographed by me.

This one hits way too close to home for me. M (we’ll call her) isn’t sharing the photographs with the public because of her job. I reached out to her and asked if she would be willing to share her story, though. I told her that her words might really need to be read by someone who is in the depths of hell. I wish that more women had talked about their struggles when I was in my marriage. There were so many times I felt shameful and alone. E is allowing me to share one photo and her words.

I want to point out that not every woman that I photograph is “broken” or going through hard times. I photograph women who are engaged, married, divorced, have kids, can’t have kids, don’t want kids, have done boudoir sessions before, have never done boudoir sessions before, and so on. But, this is E’s story and it’s a pretty damn powerful one.

Photographing Your Family Every Year

October 28, 2020 in family

This is a mom who has several gallery walls in her home, so we knew that a gallery collection was going to be the right fit for her. We worked together to get her the perfect frames, prints, and designs. It’s so important that I listen to each individual’s needs because everyone is so different. I love that when she walked up her stairs she got to see her family on her walls. That’s a feeling you aren’t going to get by looking at your photos on your computer every couple of months.

It's Time to Write Your Own Story

October 07, 2020 in boudoir

I saw something yesterday that said, “Write your own story”. How can those 4 words evoke so much inside of me? About an hour before reading those words, I discovered something I wrote when I was in the middle of my darkest year (2017). I had lost my dog, my grandfather, my uncle and my grandmother, all within a few months. I then asked my husband for a divorce. I was spiraling, but maintaining (it was only from having support from those around me). What I wrote on the pages of my journal was why it was so important for me to write my own story.