boudoir

Redefining the Value of Creativity - An Interview with Sean Low and Shannon Griffin

Redefining the Value of Creativity - An Interview with Sean Low and Shannon Griffin

I was asked to guest-host one of my favorite podcasts, The Motherhood Anthology. This is a group I hold close to my heart and one that I have mentored in numerous times. Kim, the owner, is an amazing human as well as a talented artist. She is someone I’ve grown to love over the years, so when she asked if I would not only be a mentor, but also guest-host her podcast, I jumped at the chance.

I chose Sean Low for this episode. He’s someone that I’ve looked to for inspiration for the last few years.

I talk about Sean often to those I mentor. He is the one that inspired me to create my process, with clients, around building trust and tension. You can read about that here.

I can sum Sean up in one of his own quotes: “A creative business is when you get paid to get lost.” This is the way he sees the world and why I believe every artist, who truly wants to make a living while creating, should listen to him.

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The Weight of Finality

The Weight of Finality

I have always had a relationship with finality.

I remember being a child and watching one of my favorite show’s series finale. It felt heavy. Everything was tied up with a bow, but I didn’t feel happy. I knew that I would never see another new episode. I knew that these people weren’t real, but their lives and their stories felt real. It was as if they were growing alongside me and their failures and triumphs were my own.

The show ended and the actors came out on stage (back then it was filmed in front of a live audience). They were all holding hands and they took several bows. Some of them were crying. They were hugging and talking to each other. Obviously, we couldn’t hear what they were saying as we watched them on our bulky tvs. But, I imagined they were saying what we would say in real life, saying what should have been said the whole time and not just at “goodbye”.

It’s somewhat like an obituary. We say all of the most meaningful and heartfelt things after someone has passed. We feel it so deeply because we know we’ll never be able to say those words to them. We hold out hope that somehow they can hear us and that they knew it all along, even if left unsaid while living.

I’m not leaving anything unsaid.

Here is my obituary to myself before I became a mother. She has died, yes, but part of her still lives and I want her to know how much I love her and appreciate her sacrifice.

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SSRIs Saved Me As a Mother - Boca Raton Family Photographer

SSRIs Saved Me As a Mother - Boca Raton Family Photographer

This photograph, of me, will always be my favorite from that time.

This is so much of what motherhood has felt like to me. Everything is a foggy memory because I was in constant fight or flight. Something that might seem like a normal inconvenience would send me into a full spiral. I would look around at other mothers and say, “How are you enjoying this? Why did you choose to have another baby and do this to yourself all over again? What’s wrong with me? Am I ever going to enjoy motherhood?”

I wasn’t someone who fell in love with her baby right when they put her on my chest. It took me almost two years to feel that for her. Yes, I had love for her and would do anything for her, but she felt like a stranger to me. I couldn’t let her in because I was actively fighting motherhood every day.

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The Gift of Boudoir - Boca Raton Boudoir Session

The Gift of Boudoir - Boca Raton Boudoir Session

My photographs are on our bedroom wall, so I have seen them countless times since they have been hung, but every time I look at the pictures, I am still in awe that it is really me in them. I feel beautiful and sexy looking at them, but ironically, it is actually more of a daily reminder to myself to look internally as much as externally. When I look internally, these photographs make me feel empowered and I remind myself that I am capable, that I can do things outside of my comfort zone, and that I can have self- acceptance and self-compassion, because despite all my imperfections (as a wife, mother, and just person) - I am enough.”

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The Art of Noticing

The Art of Noticing

My favorite part of what he wrote was, “Being creative begins with noticing what others have overlooked.”

When I became a mother I felt incredibly overlooked and isolated. My entire pregnancy was spent being fawned over, making sure I was okay, doctors checking on me, etc. After I had my daughter it was no longer about my health, my needs, my wants, or my mental health. Even women who aren’t mothers are often overlooked and the ones who take care of everyone else in their lives.

My promise with each woman I photograph is that I’m going to bring them into the light. There is no more hiding. There is no more telling yourself that your family comes first and you’ll stay in the shadows.

Is it uncomfortable? ABSOLUTELY!

Is it necessary for growth? YES!

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