Yesterday I laid in my bed for a long time, just looking at the wall. Unable to put my thoughts into words when Matt asked me if I was okay.
“No, I’m not okay” is what my entire body wanted to say, but I just shook my head and whispered, “yes.”
I don’t want to keep putting this depression on him. He’s right there fighting beside me, so I don’t need to then put my own sadness back on him.
People told me this is what was going to happen when I finally stepped out of my own privilege and woke up to what was really happening around me. I truly believe I’m going through the grieving process.
It’s definitely important that we do things behind the scenes and put the hard work in. But, it’s also important that I speak out so that people know where I stand and feel represented. I have had/have black clients and if I expect them to feel comfortable with giving their business to me, I need to be very clear on where I stand; I stand with them.
People are watching. If you are afraid of losing followers or clients because you post things like BLM or that you fight for injustice, black people are going to take notice. If I’m going to give my money to a company then I want to know that company is someone who would stand up for me and with me.
Just like you’re seeing a lot these days, it’s not enough to be non-racist, we need to be anti-racist. For white people, this is going to take a lot of hard work. You’re going to get really uncomfortable. That’s a good thing. That means you’re learning.
