She told me she was 6’1 and the only part of her body she liked were her long legs.
“I want to accept and embrace my height. I am 6'1 and often try to "shrink" myself in photos. I want to feel powerful and beautiful. I want something to always have and look back on for myself, as a time I viewed myself in a positive light.”
When I was going through some of the darkest times in my life is when I got deep into creating my art. This is when my boudoir work came out of the shadows. I was fearful of finding love and light in my own life, so I would photograph these women and their own struggles. I would work to give them something I couldn’t give to myself. I was working to give them clarity, security, love, strength, and a home to come back to in their own bodies.
My work was becoming my identity. The photographs were moving and powerful. But, it was coming from fear, not confidence. I was fearful to face my own solitude, so I found “strength” in the women that stood before me. It wasn’t love of myself; it was fear.
When I started to become happy in my own life I was fearful that I would lose the very vision that attracted these women to my work.
I was afraid that my artistry would change. Fearful that I would be turned away and told I was a fraud.
What ended up happening was the opposite.
As I learned to exhale and take care of myself, I was able to allow others to inhale and exhale even deeper.
My clients gave me that freedom. These women allowed me to find myself and praised me for doing so. They never called me a fraud. They held my hand through it without even knowing.
All of this happened because I found my “why” in my work.
When women contact me about the possibility of a boudoir session, I want to get to THEIR "why".
Why now? Why have you come to this decision? Why is this important to you?
If she is doing it strictly for someone else then I tell her that we aren't going to be a good fit. The way that I photograph, the way that I approach every session, is for her. I don’t care what her partner thinks is sexy. I don’t care what magazines have told her her entire life. This is not for anyone but her.
She is the reason I do this.
Boudoir, to me, is not about posing to look "sexy". The women that stand in front of my camera don't need me to contrive their bodies or make them something that they aren't. Most of them just want to be seen. I photograph single women, married women, women with kids, women in their 20s and women in their 50s. I've photographed women about to get married and ones going through a divorce. There is a reason that women get to the point of contacting me and it's my obligation and privilege to discover the "why".
I will continue showing up for you. I will continue to take care of myself, exhale, and hold space for you.
