I was just talking with a friend about 2020 and she wrote, “I feel lucky for so many things but every day is a real mental health struggle. When my son is in school and this time is in history books, I’m pretty sure I’ll feel some PTSD.”
I’ve been hearing this from so many people. I responded, “Oh, we are all absolutely going to have some serious trauma after this year. I don’t even think we can imagine what the aftereffects will be. I know we are feeling a lot of it as it is happening, but there’s probably a lot that we are pressing down deep just to survive.”
Reading more and more about oppression and the horrible effects it’s had on women (especially Black women and WOC) makes it easy to go down this rabbit hole of shame.
You ask, “How can I spend any money or time on myself when there are so many people out there hurting?”
I ask, “How can you not?”
It's 100% okay to do both. Spend the money on others, and also on yourself.
I’ve been reading so many business (and life) books on abundance, philanthropy, being a woman in this world, etc. I listen to podcasts as I run in the morning. I just want to soak it all up, but it’s also causing trauma. I know deep down that all of this education and change is going to take years for me to unpack.
I grew up in the south. I grew up in an area that has force-fed an agenda, with outdated views, on how women are “supposed” to act. The roles that we are “supposed” to play in society. We are shamed if we feel different, look different, speak different, or even if we don’t care about any of that.
I’m not apologizing anymore.
This year has been pure hell. This year has also opened my eyes to so many things.
I used to feel shame in charging my worth. I used to feel shame in making money at my business. I used to apologize (in my own head) for wanting to be as successful as men and to make my own decisions on what this world would look like for me.
I’ve also realized the extreme privilege I have to be able to make these decisions for myself. Privilege quickly turns to violence if I don’t use it for good.
So, I will charge what I’m worth. I will not feel shame when making money for my business. I will not apologize for my success.
I will use that money for good. I will give back to women so that we can start a new cycle while breaking the old.
I will shatter those glass ceilings and carry women on my back.
I will invest in myself so that I can be fully present and mentally ready to fight any battle, as well as the lies I’ve been telling myself.
This week I decided I would take some self-portraits. This might seem silly, vain, or small to some. But, to me, someone who preaches the importance of documenting monumental stages in one’s life, it felt important.
Take the photos. Cry. Laugh. Drink. Dance. Help someone in need. Help a lot of people in need. Read about oppression and systematic racism. Breathe. Take hot baths. Don’t shower for days. Call a friend for help. Don’t call anyone.
Just make sure you’re taking care of yourself. We need you.
